More Than A Story

Ocean waves and deep thoughts. I wonder how it all comes together. Every little piece of this story. The beautifully hard moments. The push and the pull. The seen and the unseen. The successes and the failures. The beautiful and the ugly. All of these shattered pieces. What is the meaning for all of these pieces?

Not too long ago, I found myself answering the question – why do you keep talking about it? That it being the story of mine and Justin’s relationship. The question really didn’t feel encouraging, and it left me with a twinge of doubt. And truth be told, I didn’t have a clearly defined, written why to answer with. All I knew was back in 2018, our relationship shattered with the discovery of betrayal and addiction. It was complicated. It was lonely. It was devastating. And, during that season, there was not a single person I could recall who had walked through the reality I was facing. I felt unworthy, lacking, and isolated; while simultaneously walking into motherhood and navigating life with a newborn and returning to work. Fast forward five years, and we are together building a life that prioritizes honesty, authenticity, and vulnerability. It’s now on this side that we understand there are a million more pieces so intertwined into that chapter of our lives, and now my heart burns with passion to link all the ways God was always working and always present.

But what was that deeper why for this compelling desire to tell this tragically beautiful story, to tell this miracle I lived and experienced. It all started to make a little more sense when I asked myself would I still share my story if it impacted just one, individual person? Would I still tell of God’s goodness, His grace, His faithfulness, His kindness, His unwavering love? It was a resounding YES from the bottom of my heart. 

While reflecting on this why question, the passage from Joshua chapter 4, verses 1-7 came to mind. God tells the Israelites to establish visual markers of God’s goodness and these markers would become a testimony of God’s faithfulness and goodness. Verse 6 literally says “We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future your children will ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ Then you can tell them, ‘They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant went across.’ These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever.”

At the end of Joshua, in chapter 24, we find Joshua still establishing visual reminders of his commitment to serve God. In verse 15, Joshua challenges the people to “choose this day whom you will serve…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” And then my challenge shifted even more. Would I document and establish my own visual reminders of God’s goodness in my life, in my marriage, in my family for the sake of my children and the legacy I leave for them to follow?

 My heart longs to pass on to my children and future generations a legacy of God’s goodness and faithfulness. That verse was my confirmation that if my only purpose in recording and sharing my story/our story was for the sake of my children and future generations of our family, it was reason enough to record the goodness and faithfulness of God.

Joshua surrounded himself and his family with reminders of God, and it is my prayer that our unfolding story becomes a visual reminder to myself, my family, and also to you of God and all the ways He is intricately involved in every season and every chapter.

A constant reminder that our day-to-day choices shape our current reality, our future, and the future of our children. 

A reminder that we have the choice to participate in or break broken generational patterns. 

A reminder that we get to choose to act on the truth of who God is, rather than staying stuck in the truth about who we are without God. 

A reminder that God is bigger than our past and our addictions. 

A reminder that surrender to Jesus starts in the individual heart. 

A reminder that God offers us salvation and a new way of living. 

A reminder that the answer to all of life is God.

It’s a one day at a time kind of process, but it’s worth it. We won’t get it right all the time, but may that be a reminder of our need for Jesus. Jesus is the bondage breaker. He deeply desires to redeem this story. 

So here’s my reminder to you – God deeply desires to redeem your story despite all the ways you have already written the ending in your head. Are you willing to invite Him into the story and allow Him to rewrite that ending for you? Remember this, you hold the power to influence generations to come by the choices you make today.